My Very, Very Final Cardinals Mock Draft

Okay, guys I usually don't do mock drafts- because everyone and their mother does one and just like said general public and the general public's birth giver - they are usually way off.

But because opinions are similar to NFL mock drafts - everyone has one - I decided to throw a hat in the ring (or is that a towel?) and try to guess what the Arizona Cardinals front office will be thinking.

I hope I don't embarrass myself too much (and no snickering from the peanut gallery), so here goes:

Round One: Jonathan Cooper, guard North Carolina.

Analysis: I just think the preemptive favorite interior lineman, Chance Warmack is slightly overrated and the team will choose the "second" best guard in the draft. Warmack is more like a player that former Cards coach Ken Whisenhunt would select. One that will sit for the first half of the season before starting.

Round Two: I'm sensing a trade here, mostly because the former regime was so staid that proposing one would be akin to drafting a top running back over an average offensive lineman - it just didn't happen. Plus, if not for a trade, the Cards may be "forced" to draft Norte Dame LB Manti Te'o, whose talent is probably just like his girlfiend - completely fabricated.

Analysis: But with Daryl Washington being suspended for the first 4 games I'm guessing still an ILB. Going to go with LSU's Kevin Minter, supposedly he has a real significant other and it's a female.

Round Three: IMO, this is where the curveball comes in. Safety is an obvious need, along with OLB pass rushing, yet I'm pontificating something different here. Maybe a player with off-the-field troubles or a player playing out of position because of his size.

Analysis: This is the pick where I guessing Keim and Arians are done with throwing caution to the wind and peel back their facades to reveal their true personae and say f**k it and draft LSU CB and MJ fan (and I don't mean Micheal Jordan) Tyrann Mathieu. This is just a total and completely ludicrous guess and I'll probably laughed off the blog for it, but I least I know who to hit up when I need a dime. Or a dollar.

Round Four: I'm envisioning another tradeback in the fourth but that would be so "unCard" like, it's laughable.

Analysis: Regardless, I'm predicting a Sam Acho player-a-like that comes from a predominately 4-3 defense that will inexplicably be asked to be the 3-4 outside linebacker pass rusher guy that Acho has yet to be. In other words, I'm reaching for Texas' Alex Okafor. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right? And the OLB seems broke.

Round Four Again(because of trade): I have no idea where the draft is headed.So, I'm going to throw a dart with my eyes closed and guess James Madison guard Earl Watford, who I assume is just as good as the Earl of Watford guard James Madison. Just richer.

Round Five: Cards have two current starting running backs that can't seem to stay healthy in Rashard Mendenhall and Ryan Williams. Hence a late draft replacement could keep in handy. Though the squad has William Powell and Alfonso Smith has seemingly capable backups the team could use a fresh body if the injury bug bites again.

Analysis: While Eddie Lacy, Montee Ball, and Leveon Bell maybe more household names, I'm going with an underdog in this spot: Stanford's undersized Stepfan Taylor at 5-9,214. Not only does he have a weird first name, he has a weird NFL RB skill set - he can block, run AND receive. Something that hasn't been seen by a smallish RB with heart since... well, last year with Larod Stephens-Howlings (The Hyphen or LaRuSh in my household. Maybe Taylor can be called "The Guy Who Resembles The Guy That Should Have Been Re-signed or Tgwrtgathashobresn(?) for short? Nah, that won't fly, but still my choice.

Round Six: A speed receiver is something Arians craves, like he had with T.Y. Hilton last season with the Colts.

Analysis: With me thinking that Texas' Marquise Goodwin will be long gone at this point, how about the pretty fly for a white guy Ryan Swopes? Yeah, he's had concussion problems and while his game speed not as quick as his straight line speed he reminds me of Ricky Proehl, an sneaky quick gym rat that will win two Super bowls with the Rams after being released from Arizona. Or was that Aeneas Williams?

Round Six, part II: After the reasoning behind the Stepfan Taylor pick, and with deficiencies still at S, OLB and TE, running back is the furthest thing from my mind.

Analysis: That's why I'm saying Clemson RB Andre Ellington is the selection here. Cuz that's what thefranchise is know for - drafting QBs that don't play for them (Kelly Stouffer) or placekickers in the first round (Steve Little). I was going to go Marcus Lattimore, but at least Ellington has a knee that WASN'T TURNED BACKWARDS!

Round Seven: Let's face it, Brian Hoyer isn't going to make the regular season roster. No way you pay a third stringer 2 mil a year to be inactive on game days. Cards need a developmental passer.

Analysis: And this is where Adam Pierre comes in. The Canadian from Charleton University threw for 5,280 yards and 59 tds. At 6-6 260 pounds with 4.5 speed he reminds scouts of a faster, more mobile Ben Roethlisberger. Could definitely be the QB of the future.

Or the Arizona Cardinals could take the scrub TE from Rutgers, D.C. Jefferson, whatever.

So, there it is. Quit laughing at the predictions - they're mine and they're probably wrong.

If you don't believe me, just ask my mother. She has the team taking Barkley in round one.

<em>This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Revenge of the Birds' (ROTB) editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of ROTB's editors.</em>

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