If you're a regular NFL fan you know by now the NFL commissioner, the owners and for a portion of the deal - the NFL Players Association - has basically agreed to change the offseason schedule to move the collegiate draft back a few weeks to Nielsen sweep ratings time (and the Thursday - Saturday before Mother's Day) next season and then the league starting year shortly after the extinct Pro Bowl in 2015 and '16, with the annual meat market(NFL Combine) following the free agent period.
While this all and good, with teams signing unsigned available veterans who have played the game to larger contracts BEFORE an unproven rookie draft kid that gets more than their worth (CBA slotting not withstanding), the league didn't release a few regular season proposal dates that apparently was missed by TMZ, MJ and TMI.
So, file this into the Lennay Kukua folder of new timelines that will be passed on Tuesday:
Week Two -- ESPN must stop the incessant coverage of Tim Tebow and and the New York Jets - he, like the team, is vastly overexposed for no reason other than being in the largest TV market. Only exception is if Tebow does a "Dennis Rodman" and proposes to Rex Ryan in a wedding dress. Love knows no bounds, even if it's broadcast on ESPN SportsNation.
Week Three -- Pete Carroll and the Seattle Seahawks must comply with the "no more than 6 players on squad being suspended for substance rule". Carroll has been known to bend the rules in at USC and is giving it the "ol' college try" in the Great Northwest. He's already succeeded in getting at least one player free from discipline with the "leaking cup" trick that MLB's Ryan Braun used. (*wink, wink, I'm looking at you Richard Sherman*)
Week Four -- The "read option play" becomes a banned book, much like the "wildcat" in most NFL clubhouses. With injuries to RGIII, Russell Wilson, Colin Kaepernick, and Cam Newton - the league sets a deadline for gimmicky offenses - unless Tebow is still with the Jets. Then, it's alright- as long as he and Rex have consummated. (And you don't want to see those New York Minutes.)
Week Five -- New Buffalo Bills QB starter Kevin Kolb takes snap, feels slightest pressure, rolls right and fires a pass out bounds, but not before sneezing - breaking two ribs and ONE casual fan's expectations. (Sorry, couldn't resist and it is on the NFL new schedule, therefore I'm exonerated.)
Week Six -- All Jerry Jones psychobabble about Tony Romo and Jason Garrett shall come to end. Either you're with the guys or you're ain't Jerruh. Either Romo is traded, Garrett is fired or for once in your @#$damn life shut the Daryl Boston up. This is the new schedule change nicknamed "sticking a sock in it, Jerry".
Week Seven -- Arizona Cardinals will start 7-0 and bandwagon fans will join in with the praise. Which is fine as long as Roger Goodell states it - you must get the owners name (that has been with the team since the 1930's), right - Bidwill, not Bidwell - and use "offense" and "defense" correctly as opposed to "offence" and "defence". It seems like correct thinking, right....I mean the Cards starting 7-0, that is.
Week Eight -- While Arizona will technically play the Falcons this week - the league and I are in agreement on this one:
We're both asking for a bye.