Arizona Cardinals Larry Fitzgerald is eyeing women

Christian Petersen

The Arizona Cardinals receiver will be a judge on next week's Miss USA contest.

Let's face it, being a professional athlete tends to have more benefits than not.

And let's face another truth: Larry Fitzgerald is taking more than his share.

He gets to travel around the world, receive NFL Man Of The Year recognition, annually selected the best at his position by his peers and receives a nice tidy dollar amount.

And on June 16th, he'll be pulling up his drawers, taking a deep breath and shuffling on to his next chore: putting scores on beautiful women. (And to his credit, his appearance is probably based on the pageant's causes being breast and ovarian cancers.)

Oh, the humanity. I don't know how he'll recover.

But another disclosure is that Fitz has been throwing his judgement around for awhile, whether publicized or not. (Some fans are implicit that he played the GM role in the Kevin Kolb trade.) And while not passing grades on young, gorgeous ladies, he has passed some Miss Congeniality-like awards to some of his former quarterbacks.

Mostly Likely To Get Me Injured:

Matt Leinart. The pass during the 2010 preseason that led a defender directly into Fitzgerald's lower extremities. It was a miracle he wasn't hurt badly and coincidentally not much later, Matt was out, hurt a shoulder and currently is a free agent for the Raiders. That's what they call karma. Or what the NFL calls Oakland: WTF.

You Can Provide A Needle-Like Pass From 20 Yards But You Can't Support Your Kid:

John Sketon. To me, the guy has the ability to stand in the pocket when it was breaking down (and let's get real, it broke down a lot.) But he's not able to stand up and look in his pockets when breaking it down for the family. Not cool, John. Throw a few pennies your daughter's way. Just make sure she's not standing near the edge of the Grand Canyon rim when you do.

Best Costume Award:

Max Hall. Despite having "moxie", a term I'll never understand that relates to a quarterback-- unless they're undersized, has small hands and is benefiting from fanatic nepotism -- Hall wore this one well.

Would make Blackwell's list of best dressed -- if Blackwell was still alive and Max was actually close to being NFL quality. But he did have that moxie.

Most Talented Comedian:

Derek Anderson. Does this ever get old? And you have to give Somers kudos for being Costello to Anderson's Abbott. It ain't easy being the straight man. Ask Kerry Rhodes.

Mr. Photogenic, Best In Swimsuit, Mr. Congeniality and Everything Other Award:

Kurt Warner. Remember Larry, the days of effortless route running and when you turned the ball would be right there, between the numbers? Remember the quick release that disguised the offensive lineman's deficiencies? The 345 catches for 4,583 yards and 39 touchdowns?

Nah, me neither. Just ogle the pretty ladies and hope the winner has the last name of Palmer.

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