If anyone has followed my writings on ROTB you've probably noted that I've been using an euphemism for the Dallas Cowboys whenever I mention them. I call them the "Poopkickers" and it's not meant out of hate particularly - it's probably more of jealousy and ignorance.
Nah, let me call it as I see it. I seriously have disdain for the Texas football team. To be more specific - their fans.
And with Saturday's preseason tilt coming up, I thought what a great time to point out reason why I hate the Cowboys (numbered in parentheses):
I grew up an ASU football fan without an NFL team. The San Diego Chargers with Dan Fouts, Kellen Winslow and Don Coryell changed that with the drafting of Sun Devil WR John Jefferson. "Air Coryell" provided some of the best offenses the oblong ball league had ever seen. You talk about beautiful football...that was the Chargers... if I could see it.
Only problem was that despite Phoenix being in closer proximity to SD than Dallas, the network (CBS back then?) chose to televise the team with the larger demographic (1)(re: bandwagon fans(2)). Therefore, on practically every Sunday, us Arizona fans would have the "pleasure" of seeing the innocuous Cowboy/ Buccaneer snoozer game(3) instead of a 45-42 Charger/ Raider shootout that included a "Holy Roller" or my guy Jefferson laying out for a 50 yard TD. (4) And this went on for seasons (5), because the Cowboys were anointed "America's Team" (6) -without 3/4 of the country's majority(which is unconstitutional, I believe (7))- and because of the white bread appeal of Roger Staubach and head coach Tom Landry. (Both of whom I actually respect.)
Now, this would and should be little reason to hold the Texas team in contempt unless I wanted to act like a petulant child that had wished for a skateboard for Christmas and received a calculator instead. True story and I blame Dallas for this also. (That's number 8.) But you had the star on the helmet (9), the SBs (10) the cheerleaders (11), the stadium that was open for "God to watch".... oh, please - that's worth two..(12 and 13) and the over-the-top players and their nicknames like Thomas "Hollywood" Henderson (14) and Ed "Too Tall" Jones (15). Not mention the beatings the Cards took when they were in the NFC East with the Cowboys. (16)
But where I think I fell over the edge with hatred was when Jerry Jones came to town.(17) Unceremoniously gone was the staid fedora guy for the "how 'bout them Cowboys!" jackass (18), Jimmy Johnson, gun-carrying Barry Switzer (19) and the Tuna (20). Even though Arizona now had a team to call their own, network decisions and blackouts pointed to more and more Cowboy broadcasts in the Phoenix area and we had a wealth of watching convicted criminals like Nate Newton (21) Pac Man Jones (22) and Micheal Irvin (23) on a non-welcomed weekly basis. And the owner Jones did/continues to make it about himself (24). From the facelifts (25), walking the sidelines (26), nosing in on plays (27) to drunken scene about kickers (28).
(Speaking of Irvin -another sore point.) The triplets. (29) Troy Aikman (30), Emmitt Smith (31) and Irvin are HOF inductees. But other than Smith being the NFL's leading rusher, should this ring true? I mean, Donovan McNabb has better numbers that Aikman, yet he's still waiting for a Cardinals 3rd string QB job to open up and while we had Smith finish his career here by falling into his lineman and separating his shoulder, they got Leonard Davis (32) to finally play where he was intended - guard. Meanwhile, we have Irvin and Deion Sanders (33) to enlightened us (?) 24/7 on the NFL Network with blabbering usually reserved for retirees craving for jello for their dry, inflamed gums when Warner is right there, waiting for the opportunity. Where is the justice?
And don't get me started on Tony Romo (34).
But, like I originally stated, this is more about the Dallas Cowboy fans (35) than anything else. Most in the Phoenix area are bandwagon, obnoxious, non-football-knowledgeable cretins. (And I apologize to the ones who grew up in the Dallas/Fort Worth area and have transited to Arizona. Those would be true Cowboy aficionados.) Yet, they did and continue to spoil our home games with "their" team. We have a product here Cardinals fans and it isn't from Texas, so let's push the sh**kickers out and support our team!
Did I mention I have a thing about the Dallas Cowboys?