After the stinker against Seattle last Sunday, I am changing up the way I do this. Because that 1049 comments takes a long time to read through, and because rage is fun to read, I am only going to post comments that are abject outbursts of blinding searing rage directed at this game. That, and anything that made me laugh.
One comment regarding a 90 year old man was probably my favorite of the entire year so far.
Truly, reading through these comments is something only a sadomasochist would enjoy.
This picture came up a few times.
CanadianCard: DA's got the Swagtangibles
I bet you got even madder later in the game
KholdStare88: You know what
For some reason I’m already angry and we’re not even down.
Billick is an idiot
Cuckoo for Coco Puffs: Billick really is an Ass
besides not knowing the rules.
He can’t even tell Rhodes apart from A-Dub.
BIGRED CARDINAL: or the teams
(He got the intentional grounding rules wrong earlier in the game, and he said "good pressure by Seattle" on a play where Hasslebeck was sacked)
The Rage begins following a 63 yard TD
BIGRED CARDINAL: WOW 3 PPL THERE AND YOU CANT STOP HIM ****ING RETARDS ARENT WORTH THE MONEY THEY GET PAID!!!
Winter: There is no way Hasselbeck is this good.
AlaskanCard: Our Defense sucks ass and balls at the same time!!!!!!!
Sir Whirly: I'm sorry, I didn't know Eric Green was playing for us again...
az78true: Wow just when I think I might stay sane the D fails! I can't take this ****. It's absurd...... arrrghhhhh
BIGRED CARDINAL: Whats going on..
Sir Whirly: Fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail
Seriously. This is some ****ing bull****.
An accurate depiction
Sir Whirly: Ernie - Cardinals, Burt - The fans
AlaskanCard: I love how we give career days to EVERYONE
BIGRED CARDINAL: At this point ...
i think a high school offense could go crazy on our defense
Who has a gun?
JoeCB1991: Get the firing squad and shoot everyone
Winter: Just Bill Davis. There's a lot of improvement on the offense so far.
JohMa: I hope draft, Mallet and 11 D players.
Anyone have an answer?
az78true: Seattle sucks so what the hell does that say about the Cardinals?
Channel surfing time...
KholdStare88: News Flash
cardsfannc: That’s kind of like watching our secondary
toolman234: We're playing a team...
That was outgained by over 700 yards and outscored by 64 in their last 2 games and they are dominating us AT HOME! Incredible!
Irishcardinal: Half time thoughts
This Hawks team is absolutely terrible and we’re making them look like playof contenders on O. I’d just like a defense that didnt need some emotional crisis or chip on the shoulder to do their ****ing job.
roblooski: Mike Williams
has gone from being a fat, unemployed loser to being a Cardinals Killer.
Too much exercise
Winter: He should make them run 2 miles for every time they are burned or miss a tackle.
JoeCB1991: They would die from that
GraydonS: The weak will die, the strong will live on.
Anyone like this nickname for Whitehurst (after he came into the game following an injury to Hasslebeck)?
JoeCB1991: Jesus Hair is in
Nobody knows how to tackle
I thought it was figure skating.
AlaskanCard: I like Rhodes attempt to tackle the guy with his back
JoeCB1991: If Whiz wanted Whitehurst
What does that say about his taste in QBs?
roblooski: well he did choose Dick in the Ass
so I guess that’s par for the course.
NFL.com doesn't even have their good highlight videos (the ones with the radio announcers) anymore, so you can't even do that now...
CanadianCard: Anybody else thinking of watching highlights instead of live next time?
you will only see plays from the opposing team cuz nothing good will be done by the cards
tw3kr: Matt Leinart was a scapegoat for an entirely incompetent offense
JoeCB1991: The only time this D was good was in Training Camp...
tw3kr: When they were only matched up against our offense
tw3kr: DA can make anyone look good
Except for the players he throws to.
More hating of the idiot announcer
AlaskanCard: Billick is an idiot, "there was no football move made". What do you call tucking the ball and turning to run
Torture isn't fun, unless you are watching Jack Bauer do it.
Jessesb: The MLB Giants
had the logo "torture never felt so good" to define their season.
Aptly describes ours too. Just not going to be with a happy ending.
More Billick hating
Cuckoo for Coco Puffs: Billick is an IDIOT
Cuckoo for Coco Puffs: why don't we hire him as OC?
AlaskanCard: no no, we should hire him as DC
JoeCB1991: He wouldn't be able to learn everyones name
BIGRED CARDINAL: I dont know
how our players can be classified as professional fb players cuz they suck ass
Skii: What makes it worse is this is in front of a sell out crowd
Phoenix is a big bandwagon city. You just can’t lose, or everything you’ve won will be forgotten.
Welcome back DA
Sir Whirly: Ah, wondering when Anderception was going to show up.
JohMa: Welcome back DA to the best friend INT
Winter: Anderson was doing well in the first half, but I guess he just can't be consistent about it.
I'd say my description is accurate right now...
Skii: Where's that high-scoring D we used to have?
JoeCB1991: They are giving up high scores
Have you seen that before?
AlaskanCard: This is like watching my grandma get beat by Hulk Hogan with a monkee wrench
They did want JaMarcus... so who knows?
Skii: Hey, DA?
Yeah, it’s me, a Cards fan. D’you know that the UFL is hiring? Hope the competition’s not too much.
So... what do we do next year?
AlaskanCard: Alright, I'm turning this into a draft thread, who do we want?
Skii: Ryan Mallett
Winter: I wanna sign Vick in the offseason and draft pass rushers.
Skii: How come everytime the military is watching
American Armed Forces, thank you for your time overseas, and sorry you have to watch this joke of a game.
AlaskanCard: what's really really sad is when we lose this game, the 49ers will be tied with us if they win
Can't be much worse
Skii: Pull DA
AlaskanCard: at least that would be fun to watch
toolman234: You know why I'm glad we chose DA as our QB?
Comment of the year
AlaskanCard: This is like watching a 90 year old man getting porked in the ass over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
Cuckoo for Coco Puffs: that's an interesting comparison.
where were you watching that?
College was such an eye-opening experience for him.
If I did not see the stat saying "0 yards in the 3rd Quarter", I would not believe it.
Skii: When will Coach Whiz finally realize
That DA isn’t a Kurt Warner? When will he finally pull him? I’m pretty sure 0 yards in a quarter is enough to show that you’re terrible.
I think the Seahawks fans are the only ones left in the place at this point.
Skii: Soon, the crowd's going to start cheering for the Seahawks
Skii: Can I challenge Derek Anderson's existence as an NFL QB?
AlaskanCard: We're worse than we were back in the dark ages, this is ridiculous
Maybe he knew what was going to happen this year, and he wanted to get out before this debacle of a season began
Skii: I've said this every loss we've had, and I'll say it again
Skii: Donovan McNabb
if our defense would allow 100000 points
As a member of Team CoCo, I disagree.
Skii: Monday Night Football against the 49ers
For the rest of the nation, it’s going to be like a Jay Leno all night marathon. Hiliarious.
AlaskanCard: I love how our defense is celebrating. That's like me celebrating that 90 year old man up there
Skii: John Skelton has been the best player so far
Only because he hasn’t played a down.
It should end as fast as possible
AlaskanCard: there's 12 minutes of this crap left? really?
Cuckoo for Coco Puffs: don't worry
with the incompletions..It should only last another 45 minutes
Is he an improvement?
JoeCB1991: The Dolphins are talking with JaMarcus
AlaskanCard: I think it's more sad that I'm jealous
I feel bad for the guy
Skii: Larry, I'm sorry
You have to be a part of this excuse for a team.
Don't forget the Fumble, and the Overthrow
Skii: Sack and interception
DA’s best friends.
Screw that, I want Andrew Luck now
Skii: The problem is
If DA starts to look watchable, the coaching staff will think he’s going to be great for the rest of the season, and keep him as the starter.
Haven't seen one in a while
Winter: Oh wait, it's a passing touchdown. Now the coaching staff has one on tape so they know what it looks like.
tw3kr:Maybe they'll be able to do another one in a couple weeks
Can she hit me?
Cuckoo for Coco Puffs: My Wife doesn't feel like hitting me with a frying pan.
looks like I’m going to remember this nightmare.
Anyone want to test it and find out?
Skii: Which works better, bleach or Mr. Clean?
tw3kr: A rope
JoeCB1991: Which one ignites faster if you throw a match on it?
Skii: Screw Lynch
But most importantly, screw the Cardinals.
There was still a shot at this team making the playoffs?
Winter: So apparently no one on the Arizona defense has any interest in helping their team make the playoffs this year.
AlaskanCard: Oh they do, but only when the offense doesn't, and vise versa
Any other animal genitals you care to name?
BIGRED CARDINAL: DA SUCKS BIG MONKEY BULL BISON ANY ANIMAL BALLS
Nice arm DA
tw3kr: Two almost interceptions, one thrown at the roof
Thats more like it.
Sing along time
AlaskanCard: Let me sing a song for everyone
(sung to London Bridge)
Weee took it up the butt!
Up the butt!
Up the butt!
Weee took it up the butt!
From the Seahawks!
tw3kr: It took me a little while but I found a bright spot:
The new CBA should include limits on rookie salaries so our top five pick won’t cost that much.
AlaskanCard: ooo, that is good...but that means we have to hold onto all of the crappy players we already have
Except for turnovers
tw3kr: Garbage time, DA's only friend
3rd time this picture was posted
He deserves to be happy
AlaskanCard: I feel soooooooooo bad for Larry. I almost want him traded so he doesn't have to deal with this crap
Bet there is one already
JohMa: we need to create a group in FB , the name is "Cut DA, Cut Bill Davis" :D
AlaskanCard: A reprise of my song!!!!!!!!
WEEEE TOOK IT UP THE BUTT!!!
UP THE BUTT!!!
UP THE BUTT!!!
WEEEE TOOK IT UP THE BUTT!!!
FROM THE SEAHAWKS!!!
The worst part
MarcusJC: lol we are last in the Division
I can't take much more of this. These games, and reading through 1000 angry comments.