Cardinals vs. Chargers: 5 negatives from the ugly preseason loss

As most have heard by now first round pick Jonathan Cooper broke his left leg last night and is possibly out for the season, so it doesn't get more disparaging than that.

But guess what Cardinal fans - I chose the short stick and get to write the article about what else went wrong in the injury-filled, sloppy (this is the best of the preseason?) game. So, make some room and remove the spoon while I urinate in your morning Cheerios.

1.) Dan, Dan, Dan.

You, Mr. Carpenter was specifically brought in to replace Mr Feely. You were given first chance over said Jay and promptly had your chipshot blocked. Not the way to make first impression and probably your last impression.

You probably wished you were injured. And at the rate the Cards are falling, maybe next week.

2.) The Turnstile is back.

Levi Brown - by my count- had 3 penalties and 3 "oles" with Dwight Freeney blowing past him for sacks, or least hurries.

"Slow, fat and playing out of position is no way to go through life, son." (Animal House paraphrase) Levi seems to be in regular season form. (But he still claims the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.)

3.) And the Cardinals breakout player for 2013 is...

Tight end Rob Housler is on the cusp of everyone's lips when people talk about who on the team is going to go "beast" . With a reception for 9 yards last night, he has a preseason total of...one reception for 9 yards. This would make him more of a "beauty", I believe. And a high ankle sprain adds to the insult.

4.) Special Teams ain't so special.

Other than the Carpenter block, you had the Zastudil punt block and the Charger's Allen with a 44 punt return among the lowlights. Guys that are supposedly fighting for roster spots by doubling on special teams evidently took the night off. Maybe they need someone batter to motivate them. How's that ST coach across the sidelines? Maybe he could work some magic. Oh, wait - we tried that and didn't like the flavor.

5.) Injuries bit us like a skeeter in a blood donation RV.

Cooper, Housler, Andre Roberts(quad), Dan Williams(ankle), Rashard Mendenhall(knee) and D.C. Jefferson(knee) among others, all went down ailments. This reminded some people of the 2000 preseason game in Minnesota where everyone and their brother wearing Cardinals Red was eaten by the artificial turf under the dome. The team finished 3-13. Not sayin...just sayin'.

Now that I'm done, anyone got some sugar for that cereal?

More from Revenge of the Birds:

• Chargers vs. Cardinals final score: Arizona fall 24-7 in error and injury riddled game
• Jonathan Cooper injury: Arizona Cardinals rookie carted off the field
• Chargers vs. Cardinals: Keys to success for Arizona and key matchups
• Arizona Cardinals pass rush vs. Dallas Cowboys: How bad was it, really?
• Cardinals vs. Chargers preview: 5 questions with Bolts from the Blue