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April Fools: BREAKING: Cards Star RB David Johnson tests positive for David Johnson

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The star running back will not miss any extra time because he IS a performance-enhancing device

NFL: New Orleans Saints at Arizona Cardinals Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

When David Johnson was tackled and his knee appeared to bend backwards against the St. Louis Rams in the Cardinals final 2017 game, most fans and even media braced themselves for the worst.

But rather than what appeared to be an open-and-shut torn ACL and severe knee injury, Cardinals RB David Johnson was walking around afterwards putting weight on the leg.

All in all, he didn’t require surgery and only ended up with an MCL sprain. As of March 12th, his knee is reportedly back to 100%.

The response that some fans naturally had, was.....How?

How in the world did Johnson escape with such an insignificant injury?

Today we got our answer, as sources revealed today that David Johnson indeed tested positive for being David Johnson.

“This really shouldn’t surprise fans at all, sadly” a source close to Revenge of the Birds said. “He had all the signs of David Johnson: the ability to make defenders miss tackles by cutting on a dime, better receiving skills that some NFL teams this year, Gumby-like flexibility and above all doing it all with complete and total humility.”

PFF even gave Johnson their “Best Receiver” award for the season (atypical for a running back) and showcased Johnson’s unbelievable ability below:

Too unbelievable? Afraid so.

Yes, the “Humble Rumble” as he’s been called showed all the signs of David Johnson-itis and as fans we should have known better.

A few years ago in 2009 the Cardinals had a similar scandal with Larry Fitzgerald testing positive for the notorious “G.O.A.T. syndrome” after his record-breaking playoff appearance.

Fitzgerald, of course, didn’t miss any time for the next few years and continued to set records.

Our anonymous source continued:

“The last straw was when Johnson posted a video on Twitter of himself making box jumps only 6 weeks after from his injury. After that, obviously the NFLPA stepped in and unsurprisingly he tested positive for David Johnson.”

Below is a video to said box jump:

When asked for comment about his unfair advantage of being himself, RB David Johnson, in typical fashion, reportedly smiled and said that he was just working hard to get better every day and help the team win.

I don’t know why we would expect anything different.

RB Johnson is expected back for work by the start of OTA’s without missing any time, of course.

What do you fans think about this news on David Johnson?

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