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UFA Auto Palace Sticker Options for Arizona Cardinals

Green Bay Packers v New York Giants Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images

As we are on the cusp of the first week of NFL free agency, I would like to welcome you to Mitch’s Auto Palace in Winslow, Arizona. Come on down! It’s such a fine site to see! Look for the girl in the flatbed Ford. She might be slowing down to take a look at you. Don’t say maybe!

If you take the tour with me through the lot, I will present you with our best selections for Lexus luxury models, Honda mid-range sedans and Kia economy options. There’s a little something for everyone!

Center

Lexus: Corey Linsley (GB); Honda: Austin Reiter (KC); Kia: Brett Jones (MIN)

Guard

Lexus: Joe Thuney (NE); Honda: Matt Feiler (PIT); Kia: Lane Taylor (GB)

Tackle

Lexus: Alejandro Villanueva (PIT); Honda: Rick Wagner (GB); Kia: Demar Dotson (DEN)

RB

Lexus: Aaron Jones (GB); Honda: Mike Davis (CAR); Kia: Wayne Gallman (NYG)

WR (speed)

Lexus: Will Fuller V (HOU); Honda: Curtis Samuel (CAR); Kia: Breshad Perriman (NYJ)

WR (possession):

Lexus: JuJu Smith-Schuster (PIT); Honda: Nelson Agholor (LV); Kia: Adam Humphries (TEN)

WR (wild cards);

Lexus: Kenny Golladay (DET); Honda: Emmanuel Sanders (NO); Kia: Demarcus Robinson (KC)

NT

Lexus: Dalvin Tomlinson (NYG); Honda: DaQuan Jones (TEN); Kia: Damon Harrison (GB)

34 SAM OLB

Lexus: Yannick Ngakoue ( BAL); Honda: Olivier Vernon (CLE); Kia: Kamalei Correa (JAX)

ILB

Lexus: Jayon Brown (TEN); Honda: Christian Kirksey (GB); Kia: Damien Wilson (KC)

CB (Boundary)

Lexus: William Jackson III (CIN); Honda: Malcolm Butler (TEN); Kia: Sidney Jones (JAX)

CB (Boundary)

Honda Accord: Shaquille Griffin (SEA); Honda Civic: Ronald Darby (WAS); Honda Civic: Michael Davis (LAC); Kia: Gareon Conley (HOU)

CB (slot):

Honda Accord: Brian Poole (NYJ); Honda Civic: Desmond King (TEN); Kia: Justin Coleman (DET)

K

Lexus: Ryan Succop (TB); Honda: Matt Prater (DET); Kia: Dustin Hopkins (WAS)

P

Honda Accord: Pat O’Donnell (CHI); Honda Civic: Kevin Huber (CIN); Kia: Michael Palardy (CAR)

OK, so you are the owner of a company and you have come to Mitch’s Auto Palace to purchase company cars for your staff. You have the budget to buy a Lexus for your CEO, 3 Hondas for your office managers and 2 Kias for your traveling salesmen. That is 6 cars in all.

Note: if there are options that you are looking for that are not in thus lot, but ones that we can order for you here at Mitch’s Auto Palace, check this phenomenal menu by Mike Clay:

What are your 6 selections?

Lexus: ________________________

Honda 1: ______________________

Honda 2: ______________________

Honda 3: ______________________

Kia 1: ___________________________

Kia 2: __________________________

Or — you can opt out of one of the Hondas to purchase 2 Kias instead (making it 7 cars in all):

Lexus: ________________________

Honda 1: ______________________

Honda 2: _______________________

Kia 1: ___________________________

Kia 2: ___________________________

Kia 3: ___________________________

Kia 4: ___________________________

I will be back with my selections, after today’s 9-5 shift.

Just remember to pop open the hoods, check all the instruments and kick the tires.

Oh —- and keep your eye out for the girl in the flatbed Ford.

“You gotta know that her sweet love —- is gonna save you!”

Take it easy, Birdgangers!