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How To Appease the Football Gods: The Ten Belichickean Commandments

Denver Broncos v New England Patriots Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images

The Ten Belichickean Commandments:

  1. Thou shalt never utter the word “playoffs” until the team qualifies for them.
  2. Thou shalt never utter the words “Super Bowl” until the team is in it.
  3. Thou shalt always say “I am paid to coach the guys who are here” when asked about players who are awol.
  4. Thou shalt always start out saying, “We need to do a better job as coaches,” when addressing the media after a loss.
  5. Thou shalt always say, “Well, I thought it was a great team effort,” when asked to comment about how great Tommy or Gronk or Hightower played.
  6. Thou shalt always say, “Well, let’s not nominate him just yet for the Hall of Fame,” when asked to expound on how superb a rookie has looked in the pre-season.
  7. Thou shalt always say, “We’re on to Cincinnati,” when asked to dwell too long after a win or a hot topic.
  8. Thou shalt always say, “At least they think so,” when asked what it feels like to beat a trash talking, self-promoting Super Bowl wannabe.
  9. Thou motto shalt always be: “No days off.”
  10. Thou shalt always say, even about 0-12 opponents, “We have a tremendous amount of respect for the talent on that football team.”

No NFL persona knows how to appease the football gods as masterfully as Bill Belichick.

Hail to such divine artwork!