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Hey Bidwill “Pay Me Top Dollar Anyway”

Los Angeles Rams v Arizona Cardinals Photo by Norm Hall/Getty Images

Background: GLENDALE, ARIZONA - DECEMBER 13: Arizona Cardinals owner Michael Bidwill stands on the field prior to a game against the Los Angeles Rams at State Farm Stadium on December 13, 2021 in Glendale, Arizona.

Note: these are made up quotes used for rhetorical effect.

Tyann Mathieu: “Yeah, I know, as the highest paid safety in the NFL that you made me, I haven’t played like my old self the last two years —- but keep paying me anyway.”

Patrick Peterson: “I really didn’t know that I was taking an illegal PED while trying to cover it up, but now that I am suspended for 6 games —- pay me anyway.”

David Johnson: “I know I only played one game last year —- but make me the highest paid RB anyway.”

Chandler Jones: “I know I only played five games last year and only had one sack —- but pay me anyway.”

Jordan Phillips: “I know I’ve missed a bunch of games and haven’t been producing the way I was paid to do —- but keep paying me my $10M anyway.”

Kyler Murray: “You shouldn’t be scapegoating me for the team’s 1-5 finish and 34-11 blowout wild card round loss to the Rams which was so embarrassing that I didn’t feel I should have to go out with my teammates for the last two snaps—- so pay me top 5 QB money anyway —- and pay me so my agent doesn’t have to keep making public insinuations that unlike other NFL owners, you are cheap and don’t want to win.”

Anyone see a pattern here?

Budda Baker: “You know what our problem is? Some guys aren’t doing their jobs.”

This just in —- when a player like Budda Baker (the Cardinals’ only All-Pro in 2021) is doing his job to the best of his ability, the owner comes to him with a contract extension package.

Wow, that’s a novel idea, isn’t it?

Meanwhile, on the other side of the coin...